Melissa tells me my accident prone behaviors in Southeast Asia are (potentially) a desperate cry from my subconscious to ensure that my new boyfriend will take care of me. if that is indeed true, I'd like my subconscious to seriously stop messing with my shit and be a little more resilient.
For example, when I was taking the motorbike out yesterday I really wanted to prove I am capable of taking the painstaking lessons he has imparted on me and am in fact a Ride Or Die Bitch. Instead, while backing a non-running 125cc motorbike down a tight alley I lose control and "laid it down" ever so gingerly against a tree, Resulting in a big ass dent on the gas tank. At this point it might have been smart to call the proving quits, but my ever-rational brain determined that the net-net of a 30 second experience with one crash would seem less bad if that one crash was averaged over a much longer span of riding successfully.
Not four minutes later (after a jerky exit through a wooden plank bridge, rock wall + shoddy sand grooves in the sand), I turn right onto a dirt road and need to come to a sudden stop, which results in me trying to hold up said 278 lb. bike on my right leg, Failing and ultimately causing lay down 2, as well as an embarrassing rescue from a local, who yells after me "Drive Careful" as I stall out while careening away down a dirt hill, gripping the clutch and slamming on the foot brake for dear life.
The fortunate net-net of the biking extravaganza was a dent and a bruise to my leg, which T took remarkably well, see:
Until I picked him up at the dive shop... "Woah, that dent is like the size of my arm, you realize you dented it in the worst spot where we can't pop it out and it will for sure rust and suck for whoever has it long term. Not worried about the money though, the bike is only worth $500, but if this was a nice bike you'd be fucked."
Thanks. This on top of my firework injury. On top of my coral scratched knee that took 4 weeks to heal. On top of a UTI last month. And the scrape on the top of my foot (from dancing / doing a split in Pai). And my total dependence on contact lenses. And my general limpiness on my once broken foot. And a few other things. I'm definitely the ultimate liability for someone whose been compared to the hybrid version of James Bond, Chuck Norris, Macgyver, Transporter...